Re-programming Series – Your daily affirmations – part 2
The previous self talk mini series article in the my brilliant kidz re-programming series discussed what self talk is, how it works and the impact it can have on us as parents and our children. This is part 2 of the self talk mini series and discusses how to create a self talk program.
How to create a Self Talk program
1. The first step is to think about
- Things you want to change about yourself
- Things you aspire to be
- Things that you want to do to help your kids
This is only really possible if you have been following the first two steps in the fourth part of Re-programming Series – How to start the change, as you will have had chance to think about these and observe where you are now. If you have not done these yet, I would recommend that you do.
2. The next step is to make a list of the above things. You need to make a few points rather than many – there is a tendency to put everything down – this is counterproductive and will not help you achieve the change. I would suggest up to 5 points. If you have more, than you can comeback to these once you have seen some results on the first ‘batch’.
Once you have made a list, you need to write the key change or driver resulting from that point.
Examples of these might be:
- Things you want to change about yourself – this is looking at the now
- I get stressed up quickly – I want to be calmer. This could become – I am a calm person
- My kids get their way all the time – I want to be more assertive – this could become – I am assertive
- Things you aspire to be – this is forward looking towards your aims and goals
- I want to be a successful parent – this could become – I will be a successful parent
- I want to have a hugely successful home business – this could become – I will have a hugely successful home business.
- I want to earn $1000 extra to send my kids to private tuition – this could become – I will earn $1000 extra to send my kids to private tuition
- Things that you want to do to help your kids
- I want my kids to be good at maths -> I am helping my kids to be good in maths
- I want my kids to be more positive -> I am helping my kids to be more positive
- I want my kids to answering back all the time -> I am helping my kids to stop answering back.
3. The next step is to add some target dates, and some reinforcing ‘power’ words which represent powerful characteristics related to the above wishes.
Examples of this could be:
- Target dates – I tend to set a single target date, rather than individual dates as I find this helps to focus more on a single point – give yourself plenty of time – 6-9 months. Why this length? Well, it took you years to create your current habits, these cannot be changed overnight when you have limited time – thus a small step approach works better
- I want to achieve this by the 31 December 20xx
- Powerful characteristics – I will use the dictionary and thesaurus to help here
- Calm
- Serene
- Wisdom
- Clarity
- Co-operation
- Teamwork
- Successful
- Entrepreneur
- Magnanimous
- Assured
- Powerful
- Strong
- Positive
- Respect
- Value
Just select 5-10 words that you like, that appeal to you and seem to represent what you have listed.
4. The next step is to write all of this down in a single list on single piece of paper, that you can keep with you. So from what we have listed above, my final list will now become:
- I am a calm person
- I am assertive
- I will be a successful parent
- I will have a hugely successful home business.
- I will earn $1000 extra to send my kids to private tuition
- I am helping my kids to be good in maths
- I am helping my kids to be more positive
- I am helping my kids to stop answering back.
- Calm
- Serene
- Wisdom
- Clarity
- Successful
- Entrepreneur
- Magnanimous
- Assured
- Powerful
- Strong
- Positive
- Respect
- Value
And that’s all there is to it! You now have a simple and single Self Talk list to focus on. This list is a key part of your Self Talk program.
You now know how to create and construct a Self Talk list. You may not get this right at the first attempt, and that’s ok, just have another go. You need to create a list you feel comfortable with and that resonates and appeals to you – once you have this – stop and move on to the next step which will be in the next article – how to use this and start your Self Talk program.